Essay on Transmasculine Suicidality: Faces and Names

 Essay on Transmasculine Suicides: Faces and Names

Began on the 14th of September 2021

Cw: Suicide

I’m a transgender man who has struggled with both mental health and suicidality in my past. I’m several years free of life-ending thoughts, but I know for a lot of my trans brothers, things aren’t quite so easy to escape. 

I’m lucky enough to have survived. I’m lucky enough to have not gone through with it. But there are thousands of u out there (or were out there) who aren’t. This essay is for them. Dually to remember their lives and to ensure that more people know, so this epidemic of suicidality can become a thing of the past.

Equal measure and dignity is not being afforded to the transmasculine community and our dead who have passed away as a result of suicide. 

I recognise my own story in the lives of some of these men listed in this essay. I recognise their struggles with substances, their struggles in education, their struggles in work and in housing. In them I recognise myself and through them I feel the same pain that drove them, ultimately, to go through with their plans to take their own lives. That pain is the transphobia that is embedded in society, the transmasculine specific hatred (sometimes called transandrophobia) is embedded too in the minds of both our enemies and our allies-in-name-only and must be staunchly opposed if we are to stop adding names to this list of victims of transmasculine suicidality. 

It’s in these records that, while useful, are severely limited in scope due to the nature of death as a transgender person. Closeted trans people aren’t recorded, those who were only misgendered in death are not recorded. Trans people’s deaths which were not reported are not recorded. Nevertheless, it is the most compelling and telling records that we have on transgender people’s deaths. In these records you will find cat owners, music lovers, lawyers, teachers, translators, film fans and children, unemployed people and homeless folks. Every diversity of trans man is present, which if anything, shows that none of us are free from facing such troubles and that nobody should be left behind. There are black trans men, latino trans men, asian trans men, middle eastern trans men, white trans men. Jordanian men, Brasilian men, British men, French men, American men and so many other nationalities. The point of all this is, of course, to highlight how many of us exist, have existed and need support in order to continue existing, as both individuals and as a community. This serves as a marker for the whole community to gather around come November-time and all the names are read out. 

These faces and names are from 2015- 2022 at present and are constantly being updated. They are courtesy of the TDOR website and all details can be found on their individual pages. 

(Last updated: 2nd October 2022)

2022

Kauê Vestemberg, 22, d. 9th January

        Kauê took his own life in Paraná, Brasil. He was revealed to be trans after being deadnamed in the initial reports of his death and is reported to have been fighting prejudice during his transition. His death sparked a stir on local social media.

Gael Pandinho, 19. d. 16th January

Gael took his own life in Amapá, Brasil after struggling with depression. A post by a Brasiliian LGBTQ+ organisation expressed their sadness, writing that there had been another victim of transphobia in Brasil's trans visibility month and that yet another trans person didn't make it past the 35 year life expectancy.

Name Unknown, 12, d. 6th February

This young trans person took their life in Milton Keynes, UK after struggling with immense bullying at school and repeated misgendering and deadnaming by staff. After his death, students reporting his chosen name on social media and expressing grief were told to stop by the school staff.

Adrien Baptiste Luckas, d. 1st March

Adrien Baptiste took his own life in Nice, France. Someone who knew him posted from Adrien's account in a Facebook FTM Francophone group to let others know of his passing.

Milo Winslow, 30, d. 3rd March

Milo took his own life in Nebraska, USA after suffering from the toxic 'transgender debate' happening in his state. He was a fierce advocate for trans rights in Lincoln and of LGBTQ+ rights in general.

Paulo Vaz ("Popó Vaz"), 36, 14th March

Paulo is believed to have taken his own life in Sao Paulo, Brasil. He was a civil police officer and survived by his husband, Pedro.

Kai Khan, 18, 27th March

Kai took his own life in his college dorm at Barton Community College in Kansas, USA. A Facebook tribute to him recognised that Kai had been facing transphobia for his trans status. Kai wanted to be a Medical Laboratory Technician or to work as a nurse. He was known to have been scared of how people might treat him for being trans- or that patients might refuse his care on the basis that he was trans.

Kenna Leigh Gillock, 26, 17th April

Kenna took his own life in Oregon, USA. The circumstances that led to his death are not known.

Asher Garcia, 14, 26th April

Asher took his own life in Minnesota, USA. He was an eighth grade student whose transgender status reportedly made him the target of bullying at school.

Name Unknown, 15, 13th May

This young trans person took his life in Sarthe, France. He is said to have faced difficulty coming out to his parents in the days approaching his death.

Sasha, 15, 11th June

Sasha took his life on the island of Sicily, Italy. He was a volunteer at the local Catania Pride.

2021

Nicolas, 25/26, d. 7th February 

Nicolas took his own life in Le Havre, France. He was of Jordanian origin and was a language assistant in Lycée Claude Monet Highschool, where he had been living in the student accommodation. Nicolas was not a student, but he worked with the school. 150 people organised a trans rights rally following his death and marched through the town to the harbour. Mental health services remarked that Nicolas had been facing difficulties in accessing transition, which was making his mental health problems worse. 

Lucca Gomes, 23, d. 17th February 

Lucca took his own life in Minas Gerais, Brasil. He was riding his motorcycle when he had apparently deliberately driven it in front of an oncoming truck, which had no time to swerve out of the way before hitting him. Local trans publications mentioned that transphobia kills and had killed Lucca, who was known to psychologists who wept at his loss.

Nicolas, 15, d. 2nd March 

Nicolas took his own life in Tierra del Fuego, Argentina as a result of encountering difficulty in changing his identity documents to reflect that he was male. He was found by his mother hanged in his family home. Trans friendly media cited the lack of gender awareness in society as the cause of Nicolas’ death. 

Name Unknown, 15, d. 3rd March

A trans boy whose chosen name is unknown took his own life in Perth, Australia. He received two separate funerals, one from his mother using his chosen name and one from his father using his deadname. His trans identity was disrespected in death by his estranged father (his mother also estranged but using his chosen name). Both parents argued in court over the name. Before he passed away, he was referred to Perth’s gender identity service at the age of 14. 

Haven Bailey, 25, d. 24th May 

Haven took his own life in Illinois, USA. He had a pellet gun he was holding in front of police and refused to drop the gun. He was fatally shot by police officers and died of his injuries in hospital. It became apparent this was a suicide after it was revealed Haven had been the one who called the police about a man with a gun. He had mental health struggles as well as alcohol addiction. An obituary lists his interests in fishing, Pokemon and Tim Burton, with one of his favourite films being a Nightmare Before Christmas. 

Santiago Cancinos, 14, d. 17th May 2017, (discovered 3rd June 2021)

Santiago took his own life by hanging in Salta, Argentina on the same day he went missing. His remains were discovered this year and it was concluded that it was a suicide. He was reported missing five years ago. 

Tristan Frémont, 19, d. 19th July 

Tristan took his own life in Saint-Xandre, France in a farmer’s field. He was known to have been missing since the 24th of May this year after he left his family home. 

Samuel Boutry, 20, d. 22nd September 

Samuel took his own life in Tarn-et-Garonne, France. He was a rather private person, but he loved Pokémon and Judo. He was also autistic.

Tal Piterbraut-Merx, 29, d. 25th October 

Tal took his own life in Paris, France. He was a student at university, an activist and an author dedicated to his causes. He identified himself as gouine, a term which has a similar meaning to the word butch. He was a proud anticapitalist, anti racist, opponent of antisemitism, feminist and pro queer rights.

Joey Spencer , 30, d. 27th October

Joey took his own life in North Carolina, USA. He was misgendered and deadnamed in his obituary. A tribute to him on facebook mentioned that he had suffered abuse and trauma in his life.

2020

Murilo Gonçalves, d. 4th January

Murilo took his own life in Rio Grande do Norte, Brasil, as a result of suffering prejudice from his family. 

Alex McCray, 22, d. 4th January 

Alex took his own life in Missouri, USA. He was at the forefront of the battle for bathroom equality in his school, where he won a case allowing him to use the male bathrooms. He was majoring in social work at Fontbonne University in St. Louis. 

Lucas, 21, d. 8th January

Lucas took his own life in Seville, Spain. Not many details were released but trans friendly organisations cited transphobia as the reason for his death.

Karev, 20, d. 9th February 

Karev took his own life just a few days before his 21st birthday in Rio, Brasil. A friend wrote that he had been suffering transphobia after falling ill, which people blamed on his transness and told him was a punishment from God. His friend posted this image with the caption ‘and that’s my boy’s smile’ 

Demétrio Campos, d. 17th May 

Demétrio took his own life in São Paulo, Brasil. He was a black trans man and a prominent activist in the community. Trans friendly news outlets reported that he was experiencing transphobia, threats and abuse every day just for existing. Friends said that he was the kind of person they wanted to give tight hugs to every day. 

Dr. Igor Lima Potêncio, 24, d. 28th June

Dr. Igor took his own life on LGBTQI Pride Day 2020 in Palma, Brasil, just two days he was due to take office after qualifying as a lawyer. He was much anticipated to have a positive impact on the Sexual Diversity Commission. 

Name Unknown, d. 5th July 

A young trans man whose name is unknown took his own life while homeless on the streets of Salford, Greater Manchester, UK. Transphobic people had been hounding a man who was helping the young trans man get to Salford University that year. The man who had been helping him wrote on twitter that the young trans man had been rejected by his parents, was homeless and estranged - mourning his death, the man asked if the suicide of this young trans man what those anti-trans people want?

Ellis Murphy-Richards, 15, d. 30th September 

Ellis took his own life in Kent, UK after visiting a mental health counsellor. He was apparently struck by a train after falling from a railway bridge. He was gifted in music and played the violin, guitar and nose flute. He also had an interest in quizzes and British Sign Language.

Yuri Arthur, d. 17th October 

Yuri took his own life in Belo Horizonte, Brasil after purchasing poison intended for rodents. A person close to Yuri mentioned that his death may have been caused by unsupportive and transphobic family members. 

Benjamin Bonin, d. 11th November

Benjamin took his own life in Minas Gerais, Brasil. Not much else is known about his death. 

Alexx Noah, d. 18th December 

Alexx took his own life in Russas, Brasil. Not much else is known about his death. 

2019

Eric Varão, 20, d. 16th April

Eric took his own life in Boa Vista, Brasil. Not much else is known about the circumstances

surrounding his death. 

José Matías De la Fuente Guevara, 16, d. 23rd May

José took his own life in Copiapó, Chile after being bullied and subjected to transphobia at his

school. Staff refused to recognise his gender and the media misgendered him after his death.

His mother, Marcela, was supportive of his transition, which began at age 13.

Austin Smith, 19, d. 4th June

Austin took his own life in Indiana, USA. His death was reported by his best friend. 

Max Chesham, 25, d. 25th July 

Max took his own life while recovering from top surgery in Cheshire, UK. He suffered from depression and

was found hanged following an argument with his partner. 

Andrew Elijah Martinez, 19, d. 4th September 

Andrew took his own life in California, USA. He was in foster care at the time. Media reported that systemic issues

in LGBTQ+ fostering and services possibly contributed to his death. 

Corbin Ray Bach, 23, d. 6th October

Corbin took his own life in Kentucky, USA as a result of relentless bullying, according to his wife, Amber.

She mentioned that the bullying “played a big part in why I no longer have my husband”.

Corbin was a US Army medic and a Corrections Officer in the state of Kentucky. 

Lukás Georgi, 22, d. 22 December

Lukás took his own life in João Pessoa, Brasil as a result of suffering from severe depression. 

Guui Pereira, d. 31st December 

Guui took his own life in São Paulo, Brasil either on or shortly after the 31st of December.

Not much else is known about the circumstances around his death. 

2018

Ekai Lersundi, 16, d. 15th February

Ekai took their own life in Ondarroa, Spain after the hospital they were being seen by had failed to prescribe them puberty blockers. The Basque Government had promised to improve things that year, but had failed to act before Ekai took their own life. 

Jacob Whelan, 20, d. 17th March

Jacob took his own life in Cardiff, Wales, where he was found hanged in his university room.

He was on the waiting list for a Gender Identity Clinic, of which Wales had none at the time.

Wait lists in the UK are very long and can be 5 years or more.

The inquest into his death blames the inadequacy of the GIC provision in the UK for Jacob’s death.

Jacob’s close friend mentioned the disabilities Jacob also faced, which were type one diabetes, coeliac disease,

dyspraxia, and dyslexia. Jacob eventually tried to go for private medicine in order to transition,

which can also get trans people kicked off of waiting lists on the NHS. 

Chance Houle, 12, d. 31st March

Chance took his own life in North Dakota, USA after a period of depression and bullying.

His family misgendered him in his obituary. 

Marty Dragonova, 20, d. 30th May 

Marty took his own life in Cardiff, Wales from a drug overdose. He was originally from Bulgaria and

was studying English and French literature at Cardiff University. In 2017 he had gotten a diagnosis of

gender dysphoria from a GP and had been referred to a Gender Identity Clinic. Delays,

mistreatment from the NHS and waiting times are likely to have contributed to his death.

His death came 2 months after Jacob Whelan also took his life at the same university.

His father remarked that Marty had a passion for languages and always wanted to go and study in the UK. 

Daine Grey, 22, d. 2nd July 

Daine took his own life in California, USA. He was a student at City College of San Francisco and a

gofundme raised money for his funeral expenses, as his parents refused to collect his body or

recognise his transness. He is said to have struggled with depression and with physical disabilities.

Casey Hoke, 21, d. 8th August 

Casey took his own life in California, USA. He was an artist, activist and national public speaker.

His death is linked to a long struggle with mental health. In 2014 he produced an art history workshop with GLSEN

(Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network) titled Art, Identity and YOU.He also contributed to the Huffington Post and MTV news, gave TED talks and worked on

Queerarthistory.com. He was also a third year student at California State Polytechnic University of Pomona. 

Rafael Romeu de Brito, 29, 9th August 

Rafael took his own life in Lisbon, Portugal. A friend remarked that they had attempted to get Rafael help and

support several times, but no support came. They attempted to contact a transsexual charity but were let down.

Rafael reportedly was suffering from a lot of pressure in his life and a complete lack of support from support

services, his friend wrote a heartfelt post on social media after his death. 

Jayden Lowe, 18, d. 22nd September 

Jayden took his own life in Cambridgeshire, UK. He was on a GIC waiting list and was struggling with

the delays involved. He also suffered a breakup of his relationship in the days before his death.

Due to long wait times, Jayden began to take testosterone he ordered online, which under

UK NHS rules can jeopardize future legal transition treatment, but many trans men like Jayden do not

have a choice. As he was first referred when he was 16, and turned 18 during the long wait,

he faced an additional 2 year wait as he would now need adult transition services,

on top of the 2 years he had already waited. Jayden told his mother Claire that he ‘can’t carry on living like this’.

His father Neil mentioned that he excelled in his studies, was completing his A Levels and wanted to go to

Oxford University to study History of Art. 

Name Unknown, young, d. 22nd September 

A young trans boy took his life in the UK, location and name are not currently known.

The family have not made a statement and it is not known that we will ever know this young boy’s name. 

2017

Leo Etherington, 15, d. 31st May

Leo took his own life in Buckinghamshire, UK. He had begun transition in 2016, but his school refused to use his

new name. He went to a 'Girls' school in High Wycombe which to ld him they wouldn't change his name on school

records for at least a year, only when he was 16. He was apparently very angry with the school according to his

father, Martin. He was also declared 'ineligible' for gender transition on the NHS due to not being 18, which is false.

HRT can be prescribed to 16 year olds on the NHS and there is no legal requirement for anyone to be over 16 in

changing a known-as name on school or work records.

Bru Lima, 19, d. 2nd October

Bru took his own life in São Paulo. Brasil. He was found by his mother when she returned home from work alongside

a suicide note.

Alloés Carvalho, 23, d. 24th December

Alloés took his own life in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil. It is reported that even in death, many people were still misgendering

him.

2016

There are no reports from tdor for transmasculine suicides in 2016.

2015

Mac Ohana, 18, d. 2nd December 2015

Mac took his own life in Washington state, USA. He experienced extreme transphobia before his death at the hands

of medical professionals. He had checked into a hospital on the 26th of November, but the hospital refused to let him

wear his binder and threatened to put him in a room with "another woman". Reportedly, these hospital rules were used

to try and 'convert' him out of being a trans man. Western Washington University Woodring College of Education set up

a Scholarship for at-risk youth in his memory.

Alan Cusso, 17, 24th December

Alan took his own life in Barcelona, Spain after a series of relentless transphobic bullying. It was his first festive period

living as his actual gender. Alan apparently suffered physical abuse from bullies for being a trans man, including being

beaten, thrown down stairs, told he has a "woman's belly and not a man's muscles", sexually assaulted him by lifting his

shirt and telling him how could he live a man's life when he had tits [sic], they threw him against glass- this

transphobic bulling was done by cis girls against Alan.

2014 -1998

There were no transmasculine suicide reports in this period due to a difference in how tdor deaths were initially reported

back then.